Prunes and Prism

RULES FOR YOUNG LADIES: Some arch advice on snagging a husband. Exercising the mouth into a pretty shape through repetition of certain words seems to have been an indoor sport for young nineteenth-century girls; in Little Dorrit, Charles Dickens' overly bred girl repeats, "papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism." (

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Heroin of My Own Life

Despite the offensive advertisements, today I'm having one of the new Tab Energy drinks, the taste of which has been described elsewhere as Jolly Rancher mixed with Red Bull, or Pixy Stick mixed with Alka-Seltzer.

I've been a two-fisted caffeine drinker since childhood* (sometimes you need the Diet Coke and the latte, for hot and cold), but I'm halfway through this thing and I'm not sure I'll be able to finish it. Is there crystal meth in here? Why do I feel like I'm typing this from the top of a giant mushroom? I think I may be tweaking.

Speaking of recreational drugs, the other night I dreamed I got caught up in a web of intrigue with Christopher from The Sopranos. In a moment of downtime we were sharing our deepest fears, and he said, "You're afraid of becoming Miss Havisham, aren't you?" Then I guess we broke character because I said, "Would Christopher really say that?" and then he said he guessed not.

*Coke in the baby bottle. Really.


Blogger Recovering Baptist said...

Woo! Yeah! I used to take Vivarin in high school until I built up some kind of immunity to it apparently. First they get you with the Diet Coke, then they get you hooked on Tab Energy. You're gonna be huffing that mysterious "energy powder" they sell in gas stations off the floor of your bathroom while you scrub the grout with a toothbrush. Don't ask me how I know.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Watch out may end up joining a cult if you're not careful.

4:43 PM  
Blogger thirty-year-old secretary said...

Je te manque.

5:47 PM  

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